Our Special Time (or Why I Just Watch You Sleep and Surf Facebook)

To my sweet baby girl,You are the light of my life. My days have become immeasurably more purposeful and blessed since the day that I had you, even before, since I found out that you were just a little bean growing in my belly. My deepest desire is to be the very best human I can be so that you’ll grow up with the mother you deserve.

But right now, I just want to stare at you and surf Facebook.  Continue reading

Letters to My Baby


Photo courtesy of Kanji Photography.
My mother wasn’t a very sappy woman, but she loved to create heirlooms and save memories. Now that I have my own little one, and my mother has passed away, I find myself wanting to hold on to every little moment and every little thing as well, because I know how infinitely valuable those relics will be years from now.

About two years ago, when I was going through a box of things from my mom’s old apartment, I came across a letter that she had written to me when I was in high school. “Life is short,” she said. I know my high-school self had dismissed the sentiment, but my hands shook as I read it and cried.  Continue reading

Phoenix Rising

allaya p. cooks-campbell

On September 10th, 2015, I gave birth to my incredible baby girl, Phoenix Elle Campbell. The following is her birth story. 


So, on Wednesday, September 9th, we went in for a BPP, intending to leave quickly and go get lunch. The sono tech told us that baby’s fluid was looking a bit low and went to speak to the doctor on call at the time. He came in a few minutes later and sent us straight to L&D, saying that the fluid was dramatically low and that our doctor would meet us after we’d been admitted.
They placed cervidil at about 5:30pm and we settled in for the night. At 5:30am, I had only progressed to 2cm. I requested another dose of cervidil instead of pitocin, which my doctor approved. By 9:00am, mild contractions had started. By 5:00pm, they were strong enough to require a lot of work. I asked them…

View original post 562 more words

Why I Trust My Baby

As we all know, babies don’t come with instruction manuals. As a new mom who didn’t have her own mom to talk to for advice (mine passed away seven years ago), there were three main sources I had in my arsenal to go to for help. Those were:

1. The amazing “adoptive” mamas who have always made sure to look out for me for years,

2. The “September 2015 Mommas” Facebook group that I check in with religiously, and

3. Dr. Google.

But as every new parent has experienced, the choices other parents have made don’t always match yours, and the “advice,” whether wanted or not, can get exhausting. And Dr. Google, much like your best friend in high school, can either give you great advice or spread nasty rumors that you have vaginadentitis and your hair is falling out.  Continue reading