Musings on Motherhood

My Daughter Made an Asshole Out of Me

~ Allaya P. Cooks-Campbell ~ Leave a comment
My Daughter Made an Asshole Out of Me | babydroppings
Photo courtesy of Damany Campbell Photography.

I am a naturally affectionate person, and I love my kids like you wouldn’t believe. I was the baby of my family—the youngest out of all my grandmother’s grandchildren—so I never grew up around really little kids (and definitely wasn’t in charge of caring for any of them). So when I had my daughter I was over the moon with affection and oxytocin. I wanted to snuggle her non-stop and smell her little baby head. I knew I would be firm, but gentle. I would listen to her. I would be compassionate and engaged.

As the saying goes…everyone’s a great parent until they have kids.

Continue reading →

For the Love of All That Is Good, Keep Your Sick Kid at Home

~ Allaya P. Cooks-Campbell ~ Leave a comment

IMG_0063

Mommy. Mommy. My head hurts. My knee hurts. My elbow. Mommy. I’m so sorry, Mommy. I don’t feel good. Mommy, it hurrrtttts! No, Mommy, I don’t want it! No, ohhh, my diaper…Mommy.

This has been our soundtrack. For weeks. Not days, weeks. Our little Phoenix came down with the flu a week after the New Year. Fine, we said. She’ll get sick. That’s what happens in school. You know little kids and their germs, right? I even blamed myself, because I had been unsure about whether to get her the flu shot due to all the controversy and some rather vehement opinions from the grandparents.

After two weeks at home, she was excited to go back to school, see her teachers and friends, and get back into her routine. For six days. By the end of the sixth day, she was running a temperature, and the next morning, we were back at the pediatrician. This time, the likely diagnosis is strep. Continue reading →

Diana

~ Allaya P. Cooks-Campbell ~ Leave a comment

Image courtesy of Sideshow Collectibles.

I’m a mom now, so I could start this letter by saying how I have three little girls and how it’s so important for girls to see powerful female characters and all that. But even though that’s important, that’s not what I want to say. This letter is from me.

Growing up I knew about Wonder Woman. I just didn’t really care about Wonder Woman. She was beautiful and awesome, but constantly overshadowed by characters like Batman and Superman. She didn’t really seem to have her own thing going on–if I ever saw her, it was as a member of the Justice League, a pretty chauffeur in an invisible jet. She never saved the day. She wasn’t a crunch player. She wasn’t an MVP. She was a token female and I figured she had to be dating someone or they wouldn’t have let her in. The original live action Wonder Woman from the 1974 film, Lynda Carter, was pretty awesome, but she still didn’t inspire me. She was so dainty. Lynda Carter was unbelievably refined and beautiful, and I had skinned knees and oversized Pokémon t-shirts. Unfortunately, she just seemed like another standard of femaleness that I wouldn’t hit. Continue reading →

Happy Freakin’ Mother’s Day

~ Allaya P. Cooks-Campbell ~ Leave a comment

Sunday was Mother’s Day, and I had no expectations. My husband and I have been arguing, money has been tight, and the schedule has been packed. I felt that there was no point in getting my hopes up that “it would be my day.” Being that my kid isn’t even two, I doubted I’d even get so much recognition as a macaroni necklace.

Mother’s Day is hard for all moms. It sucks to have people tell you that it’s all about you, when really, as soon as they say “Happy Mother’s Day” and throw their last-minute, everything-else-was-sold-out gift at you, they’re off the hook and it’s back to the same grind that you do every freaking day. It’s especially hard when your own mom isn’t around anymore. For the last nine years, Mother’s Day has been more about what I didn’t have than what I did. Continue reading →

The Truth About Self-Care

~ Allaya P. Cooks-Campbell ~ 2 Comments

Babydroppings
“And this teeny slice of the pie is Mommy’s free time.”

It’s been quite some time since I posted. Valerie and I optimistically took on this self-care challenge at the beginning of this year, hoping to lead by example and help parents (especially moms) everywhere learn how to prioritize their own health and well-being. I was so excited. I’ve been burning myself out trying to juggle school, the (multiple) sites I write for, my full-time job, my part-time job, planning an overseas trip, my kitchen renovation, and of course, my toddler.

In one organization that I’m affiliated with, they say that when you make a new commitment to something, what will inevitably start to happen in your life is that you will see all the things that no longer fit with who you want to be. It’s not that things are so wrong, it’s just that you’re seeing them in the light of the new determination that you’ve made. Continue reading →

You Can’t Afford NOT To Go

~ Allaya P. Cooks-Campbell ~ Leave a comment

Go on and take that bubble bath, already! Self care challenge #babydroppings
Go on and take that bubble bath, already!

Okay, folks. We’re almost one month into this self-care thing. How’s it going?

Yeah. I thought so. Me too.

It’s HARD to take care of yourself. It’s hard to prioritize your own care in a world that is constantly pulling on you in every direction. How can you afford to take the time to take care of yourself when you can barely hold it together at work? Continue reading →

Starting the Self-Care Challenge 2017

~ Allaya P. Cooks-Campbell ~ Leave a comment

#TimeForYOU2017I’m really excited about the Mommy R&R/babydroppings self-care challenge. I know that New Year’s resolutions can fall out of existence in just a day or two, but I think that this is a really important one for us to stick with. Most of us are leaving ourselves last, and the effects are piling up. 

I’ve started already, and I hope you have too! I’m sharing my plans for the month here, in the calendar. Be sure to let me and Val know what you’re doing to love yourself, too. Tag your posts #TimeForYOU2017 so we can follow along 🙂

Five Tips to Help You Get Ready For The New Year

~ Allaya P. Cooks-Campbell ~ Leave a comment

Ugh, I can’t. Call me when 2016 is over.

At this point, I don’t know anyone who’s not ready to say goodbye to 2016. This has been a trying year, and everyone I know has been looking ahead to the future with eager anticipation.

I love love love New Year’s—as you already know, I’m super type A, I love making lists, and I almost always keep my resolutions. I’ve written about making resolutions before, so this time I’d thought I’d share what I’m doing to clear the cobwebs out at the end of 2016. Continue reading →