Product Review: The DockATot Deluxe Cosleeper

DockATot makes an amazing product for safe cosleeping and bedsharing with baby!
As you know, my husband and I cosleep with our six-month old baby, Phoenix. Sleep is a precious commodity in any house with a baby, and cosleeping gives me the luxury of nighttime nursing without having to get out of bed. However, as our daughter is getting older, she is naturally getting more mobile, and our all-night cuddling sessions are rapidly getting cut short with a toss of her sweaty head or her tiny fists of fury. Add a sleep regression or three into the mix and it’s easy to think we did make a mistake cosleeping after all.  Continue reading

The Filters (and the Mesh Panties) Are Off


I expected life to change as a new mom. After all, I was welcoming a new little person into my world. What I wasn’t expecting was how different I would be—and how rapidly my concerns would shift after I had her.

Around the time that I delivered, my husband and I were having some financial difficulties. I remember being really worried about it at the time, but once she was born, they barely seemed to matter at all. As long as all of us were fed, and she was healthy, I was happy. Euphorically, deliriously happy. I loved everything about her and my little family.

I’ve struggled with anxiety for much of my adult life, so that freedom was very new to me. But as she’s gotten older, I’ve realized that there’s a lasting effect to becoming a mother.

I give way less fucks than I did before. Continue reading

Dear Ovaries: Thanks, But Your Work Here Is Done

Hilarious and polite request to shut down production until further notice.

Hold Me, Don't Hold Me

Dear Ovaries,

Brain here, with an important message I’d like to share with you on behalf of the rest of the body.

First, let me say thanks. You really knocked it out of the park with your contributions in regards to the furtherment of the human species. The body and I will never forget your role in how little Baby 1.0 and Baby 2.0 came to be, and will always be indebted to you for jumpstarting this whole process by suddenly declaring, “I Need A Baby!” The message was loud and clear, and you were right. We did need a baby.

Thanks in part to you, we have remedied the problem with a speed and efficiency that would certainly guarantee our success if we lived in the 1800’s, and needed to quickly birth fifteen children to run our rutabaga farm. 

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I’m Losing Myself (Losing Myself)

I wander through my house like an unwashed ghost, pale and fragile from a lack of sleep and sunlight. Haunting stacks of dirty dishes and piles of unfinished laundry, I settle into the sofa, where I have been so often that at midnight, you can almost see the imprint of my backside. My unfinished business clings to me, one hand in my hair and the other wound around the strap of my nursing bra, daring me to put her down.  Continue reading

Back to Work


A week or so ago, I went back to teaching classes. I’m really fortunate to have only had to go back part-time, but even so, I was struck by severe anxiety the night before. While I was excited about having adult conversations (yay!) I was apprehensive about leaving my daughter with my husband all day. As if that weren’t enough, my husband then decided to book a photo shoot, meaning that my little one would be with him for part of the time, then my mother-in-law, then my dad.
Seriously? I wouldn’t have trusted Mary Poppins with my kid. And now this? Continue reading

Birthing Naturally

 

Photo courtesy of BellaBaby Photography.

I’m going to take the opportunity here to be unapologetically honest—I am a big advocate for natural birth.  For clarity’s sake, natural birth to me means labor without intervention or pain-killing medication.  I do not believe that “some people just can’t deliver without the drugs.”  A hundred and fifty years ago, you would have had no choice. Continue reading

Our Special Time (or Why I Just Watch You Sleep and Surf Facebook)


To my sweet baby girl,You are the light of my life. My days have become immeasurably more purposeful and blessed since the day that I had you, even before, since I found out that you were just a little bean growing in my belly. My deepest desire is to be the very best human I can be so that you’ll grow up with the mother you deserve.

But right now, I just want to stare at you and surf Facebook.  Continue reading