It’s very, very early in the morning. My husband and I are sitting in our living room, quietly scrolling through our phones. Despite our best efforts to stay positive, cheerful and productive, we have had extraordinarily trying days. We are emotionally and physically wiped.
Part of the stress, I realize, comes from having to pretend that everything is A-okay all freaking day. It’s absolutely not. We’re dealing with work and school and family and finances and self-doubt and clutter and all kinds of other stuff too. I realized today what I needed to do was just sit with the negative feelings, because I was wasting a lot of emotional energy trying to avoid what most people I knew would inevitably say. Continue reading →
It’s been quite some time since I posted. Valerie and I optimistically took on this self-care challenge at the beginning of this year, hoping to lead by example and help parents (especially moms) everywhere learn how to prioritize their own health and well-being. I was so excited. I’ve been burning myself out trying to juggle school, the (multiple) sites I write for, my full-time job, my part-time job, planning an overseas trip, my kitchen renovation, and of course, my toddler.
In one organization that I’m affiliated with, they say that when you make a new commitment to something, what will inevitably start to happen in your life is that you will see all the things that no longer fit with who you want to be. It’s not that things are so wrong, it’s just that you’re seeing them in the light of the new determination that you’ve made. Continue reading →
Okay, folks. We’re almost one month into this self-care thing. How’s it going?
Yeah. I thought so. Me too.
It’s HARD to take care of yourself. It’s hard to prioritize your own care in a world that is constantly pulling on you in every direction. How can you afford to take the time to take care of yourself when you can barely hold it together at work? Continue reading →
I love my job. I’ve been teaching adult education classes for the last three years, and I feel that helping people establish their new careers while simultaneously teaching them about finance is rewarding and important work. However, since I came back from maternity leave, I’ve thought about quitting before every. single. class. Continue reading →
“Yup, everything looks good from what I can see. You’re good to go.”
Congratulations. You have kept your bouncing bundle of joy alive for half a year. Twenty-six weeks ago, you pushed this miracle into the world in all their tiny wriggling glory. Twenty weeks ago, you checked in with the person that took care of you and your growing family for months, maybe seeing you every day as you got closer and closer to delivery. But at that six week check-in, they glanced at your stitches, told you how beautiful your new baby is, and sent you on your way, figuring that you were okay.
I expected life to change as a new mom. After all, I was welcoming a new little person into my world. What I wasn’t expecting was how different I would be—and how rapidly my concerns would shift after I had her.
Around the time that I delivered, my husband and I were having some financial difficulties. I remember being really worried about it at the time, but once she was born, they barely seemed to matter at all. As long as all of us were fed, and she was healthy, I was happy. Euphorically, deliriously happy. I loved everything about her and my little family.
I’ve struggled with anxiety for much of my adult life, so that freedom was very new to me. But as she’s gotten older, I’ve realized that there’s a lasting effect to becoming a mother.