My Daughter Made an Asshole Out of Me

I am a naturally affectionate person, and I love my kids like you wouldn’t believe. I was the baby of my family—the youngest out of all my grandmother’s grandchildren—so I never grew up around really little kids (and definitely wasn’t in charge of caring for any of them). So when I had my daughter I was over the moon with affection and oxytocin. I wanted to snuggle her non-stop and smell her little baby head. I knew I would be firm, but gentle. I would listen to her. I would be compassionate and engaged.

As the saying goes…everyone’s a great parent until they have kids.

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Honestly, I’d Rather Starve Than Cook

Phoenix & Damany Cooking | babydroppings

Anyone who knows me knows that I do not cook. I just don’t. It’s ironic, really, because for a really really really long time I wanted to open a restaurant. I love and appreciate food, I really do. I’m just…lazy. Plus, I married someone who cooks really well, and if I look pathetic enough, he’ll mostly give in and feed me. Continue reading